Self Image, Modern Love

After reading last week's Modern Love column in the Sunday Styles section, I have been thinking about the ways our parents thought of us. How they communicated those feelings affect how we feel about ourselves today. Going back in time, I thought about situations in which an opinion was offered and how it made me feel. How our parents reacted to us can feed a positive or negative image that we may carry around for years. Being blamed for something, justly or not, is one example. Because a parent said it,does that make it true? Reflect back on it as an adult.

One of my friends today says 'follow your heart' in making decisions. How you feel about the pros and cons of a situation is a way to influence your ultimate choice. If the thought of traveling some possible road makes me uneasy, I have to think why- and maybe that choice is not right. I want to know why it creates the uncomfortable feeling. Other people around us also may comment on some thing about ourselves and because of past interactions with parents, we might attach importance to that comment and add it to the picture in our mirror.

The Modern Love essay inferred that sometimes there is a misinterpretation...of a photo or situation that could be viewed in another way that changes its meaning entirely. Reviewing things that happened so many years ago, our memory is selective. Putting another spin on words spoken at that time can break a chain of doubt and self consciousness, to relieve anxiety associated with the words or event.

Confidence is an elusive entity...often affected by the slightest wind. I't's helpful to realize that true knowledge of ones self can be a steady undercurrent and those ripples at the surface are just that, temporary weather conditions.